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This reading reflects what I have been experiencing lately internally as I resolve pain and betrayal from my childhood. I realized that I am keyed into threats and fixate on perceived threats to the detriment of the rest of my life. Avnas signifies the logical approach I am trying to take when I experience trouble. The last card reminds me of the relationship between body and mind, and how altering one can alter the other, encouraging me to care for both concurrently.

2014 First Half Tarot Reading

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2014 1st half tarot reading

This reading depicts my journey for the next months and gives me direction about how to proceed in fulfilling personal goals. The cards take my ineffectual extroverted energy and funnel it into pursuits that enrich my inner life.

The Devil (January) decentralizes my overintellectualization about the world around me. The card sets up the reading to center around my ego energy and how I am going to channel it for the next six months. Overthinking matters and creations from my intellect are invalid, as are stereotypes and trying to name myself. It’s time to leave that behind and pursue pure essences. My study of wabi sabi is timely. I see this card as being about true humility: allowing the ego to stand alone without naming it or trying to decorate it with artificial concepts. Letting a natural part of me be itself and express itself, without fear or a need to conform.

In order to protect myself from psychic assault as I gather energy for my life purpose, I must embrace the masculine within myself. The Lord of Scepters (February) is a leader who does not leave traces. He directs the abilities of others and enters situations with daring and purpose. At the same time, the feminine is embraced through temperance and compassion. The false leader displays masculine characteristics without feminine temperance, acting out of fear and aggression. This is a further challenge to me to do away with dualistic thinking. Male and female are illusions in the spiritual realm. There is no limit or label for myself or my behavior.

The Lord of Scepters is the authority within myself who keeps chaos at bay by directing me toward goals and solutions. It’s key to remain tuned in to this authority in order to leave old habits behind completely.

In March, The Hierophant asks me to submit to reality. I am enslaved by nature of my personal history and my society, as birthright. Institutions came into being before I was living, but in a sense, they are as much a part of myself, and I take responsibility for them as a human soul who lived before, hundreds of years ago. These tangible and intangible institutions affect my life, and it’s time to stop struggling and be at peace with what is. Only after acknowledgement can I make conscious choices based on reality, instead of what I want reality to be.

I had a dream of expecting to be protected by a man against three more sinister men, but the man left me without a backward glance. I was shown that even as I disparage and invalidate the institution, I subconsciously expect its protection and valor toward me. I even expect its laws to protect me from my own subconscious fears and yearnings.

Making less comfortable choices (The Hanged Man) initiates my soul’s progress. Conscious choices and decisions will become the norm for me, and I will no longer fall back into old habits that relinquish my personal power. Questioning choices that are more familiar and obvious to me will become second nature, and I will become more facile as I enact this power.

In May, emphasis returns to my own work, with the Eight of Skulls. In a sense, this is a place that is familiar and archaic to me: the Hermit’s study. Due to challenging myself in preceding months to increase my attention span, my consciousness and focus will have lengthened and will allow significant progress toward my goals.

In the Ten of Skulls (June) I will experience completion in some of my projects. This will come through inner trials that I have faced in preceding months; in particular, the fear of completion itself. I have been holding on to many things half-finished due to fear of loneliness or emptiness. My personal growth allows me to release my work and submit to inner directive through stillness or emptiness; the Ace of Scepters lies within the Ten of Skulls. Each completion is also a beginning. My spiritual growth will allow me to enact this knowledge to fulfill the goals my soul desires to achieve.

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God: an inner experience. Not discussable as such, but impressive. Psychic experience has two sources: the outer world and the unconscious. All immediate experience is psychic. There is physically transmitted (outer world) experience and inner (spiritual) experience. The one is just as valid as the other. God is not a statistical truth, hence it is just as stupid to try to prove the existence of God as to deny him… Belief and disbelief in God are mere surrogates. The naive primitive doesn’t believe, he knows, because the inner experience means as much to him as the outer.

— Carl Jung

Snowbound stillness

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In this reading I see a landscape in winter, hills locked under a bank of snow. Two natures are represented in the beginning: one is passionate, lively and interfering; the other is retiring and soft. The latter quality comes into fullness as I turn within for truths, no longer searching outside of myself, losing more of myself.

The other, more volatile side suffers. She is immobilized and helpless. She has been defeated momentarily, and she has receded to a shadow that stands just on the other side of consciousness. Nothing has been gained or lost in this change, and there is no victory of myself over others. Power flows like rivulets of water that change their courses. The water now is frozen and unmoving, but it is still there. When temperatures change, it will flow again.

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